Baring it All! - Going Bald for Cancer Research UK

Dona Nobis Pacem 2007

2007-06-05T16:17:00.000-07:00

Finally - The video!!!

2007-01-01T07:37:00.001-08:00

If you click on it, and go to YouTube, you can see it full screen :-D

This is Julia and I on my birthday, not so very long ago... we went out to an Italien restaurant like this (and nearly didn't get in! :-) )

Sorry - we were having so much fun trying on wigs and hats that we forgot to get a picture of us both bald together!!

Wigs and hats

2006-12-27T08:23:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm going to do a fresh post for this. I managed to get the video onto a cd at someone else's house, got home and put the disc into my rubbishy old computer, and it won't recognise it! :-(

I'm still trying, and am really half way there. Now, all I have to do is find somewhere to play the cd, so I can edit it and put it on Utube. Won't be long now, hopefully.

But, in the meantime, I thought I'd put all the pics of hats and wigs (and there are a few... :-) ) I've modelled for your amusement, onto a slide show.... so, here it is:

The Head Shave!!!

2006-12-20T10:46:00.000-08:00

update (23 Dec 2006):
Ok, found out that connection that looks like a usb is a firewire, often used for transferring videos, which I don't have on my poor old scrubby pc. However, having spoken to my sister, it might be possible to put the video cartridge another camcorder, and transfer it to the pc that way. If worst comes to worst, and I can't find anyone beforehand, I might be able to do it after Christmas, when my sister comes a-visiting.
Really sorry for the delay!

update (21 Dec 2006):

Sorry guys- I've just had the video out, and realise I have the wrong connections on my computer for putting it up here - I'm going to have to get some advice on this, and it may take a while. I'll get the video up as soon as I know how to do it... It's worth waiting for - the atmosphere in the hall was brilliant!!

I'm afraid you'll have to wait until tomorrow for the video - Got to get it first on the pc, then onto Utube (and they take a while to OK it!), but until then, here's some pics to go on with! :-D

Going on Stage - the Evil teacher takes a hostage
and is going to shave her head as punishment

An wicked cackle fills the air, as the teacher
takes the clippers to the hostage's head

Here it goes...
and the minions sweep the floor,
not daring to leave any evidence

Head back to get to grips with the scalp

The shorn-off hair is thrown onto the hostage's lap

Only one last bit...

That's about it!

No, Oh No! Put my hair back on my head!!!

Yahay! It's all over! Let me outta here!

The Evil teacher (Heta Lumsden) and the tortured hostage

Wearing the Mickey Mouse Santa hat - oops, no one told me it was on crooked!

More thanks? Yup.

This time not for financial support. I have some thanks to give for moral and emotional support....

First to my friend and colleague, Pip Brett, who fanned the initial enthusiasm from a little spark into the full blown fire. She's had to put up with my rantings, my frantics, my bouncing ideas off her (she has the classroom next to my prep room, so there was no escape), and also, we have Pip to thank for standing throughout the head-shave itself, and taking all the photos (else we'd have nothing to look at just now, whilst I'm waiting to sort out the videos!!)

Also, to my other workmates - Liz, Karen and Lynne for being so darned patient with me, and boosting me up when I thought no-one was going to sponsor me :-) They also had to put up with a lot of erratisism in the last month... and they put up with me magnanimously! That goes for Iain too, who has the classroom on the other side to me...

And thanks also to my sister, Helen, who had to pull me out of the doldrums when I started to doubt whether I could make a difference, and for checking up my blog virtually every day giving me moral support. It helped!

And thanks to everyone who's visited here regularly over the last couple of months (you know who you are :-D ), leaving messages to let me know I wasn't doing this alone - especially when I was ill, and had little contact with anyone else - you saved my sanity!

And thanks to everyone else, who either came up with ideas, or pushed me a little further, or encouraged me to speak out in front of assemblies (not something I'm a natural at!) and for those who took initiative to make collections on their own - you were all fantastic.

But best of all are my kids!!! (how could they not be!!?!). I was really worried about their reaction to my being bald, and not only being bald, but doing the shave in front of the whole school where they attended. They might have been embarrassed. They might not have wanted me to do it. That would have put me in a right old quandry, because their feelings come tops. They not only encouraged me - they teased me; they wanted to know how I was doing, they encouraged their friends, they got involved, and donated their small change pocket money. In fact, they were brilliant! And they have continued to be afterwards. They had a laugh over my bald head, tried on my wigs and continued to check how the fundraising's going!

I also want to thank Mrs Edmonds for allowing me to carry out the fundraising and event in the school.

I'm sure there's more I haven't mentioned yet, so I'll say a big thank you to everyone!

1 day... Bald-Eve

2006-12-19T16:02:00.000-08:00

Ok, only going to say a couple of words...

yoikes!

Yoikes again!

(Anyone got a place to hide?????)

Going for a run in a few hours, to wear of some of the nervous energy. It's not just nervousness though. There's an excitement to it too... In less than 15 hours my hair will be whipped off my head - by drama teacher, Heta Lumsden (who was the only person brave enough to agree to do it in the end).... It will be a new era. You have no idea!

I'm already thinking differently. Like a person who has no hair, whose hair no longer dictates who I am. I'm even considering keeping no hair... because I'm realising I'm more than just my image. I'm more than a hairstyle, or face make-up. I am me. An inner me. Not just the me I project to the world. And I kinda like that me, and in that realisation can bear the thought of having myself exposed in the most dramatic, but baring way...

There's part of me that's scared of getting all emotional, and bursting into tears on stage. But there's also part of me that wants to shout out "It's just hair! It's not me!"

But, I also know I'm doing it out of choice, and it's not permenent. It will grow back (if I choose to let it).... although I'm hearing from a lot of people that it might grow back completely different than it is now. Some say it will grow back thickly, some say curly, some say it will be all grey, some say it will be soft... Well, whatever.... it is for me to find out. I'll let you know :-D

More than that, I know I'm shaving my head of all it's 73cm of hair for a very very good cause! If there isn't research, then what hope for the future? We all made a contribution... and we all hope that there will be a future where cancer doesn't rule our lives and deaths. I hope and pray that cures for all the different types of cancer will be found in the not too distant future, and that anyone who has cancer today might be helped by those discoveries. I hope, also, that there is a future for our children where the word 'cancer' doesn't strike up any more fear than the common cold - wouldn't that be cool? A world where you can go to the doctor with cancer, and (s)he would prescribe a medicine that would just reduce it within a week? Or, even better, where you could be vaccinated against it as any other illness...

The next post I do will be after the deed tomorrow - Wednesday- or rather, later today!!!

I hope to have pictures. I hope to have a video. I'll see what I can do. I know there's a lot of people who won't be able to be there. Hopefully, you can see what happens... I'll do my best, OK?

Thank you everyone who's made this possible.

and thank you everyone for supporting me.

I hope we've made a difference - I'm sure we have!!

2 days - Wow!

2006-12-18T23:54:00.000-08:00

Fanfares a trumpeting!

da-da-da-da-daaaa!

We've surpassed the target!

Thank you to everyone who'd donated or otherwise supported me!

Over £1000 - thanks to the generosity of people like you!

My hair's coming off on Wednesday...

Watch this space for pictures (and hopefully a video!)

3 days - hair down...

2006-12-17T08:29:00.000-08:00

...ready to go!

Only 3 days to go... so my hair's come down again, ready to go :-)

My friend, Julia, came over yesterday, and we went back to a few places we used to build camps and stuff. It was really weird to see our old haunts - especially the place we built a huge stick and fern village, cutting steps into all the surrounding slopes, and scrumping apples from the nearby orchard... We spent a whole summer at this one!

Across fields...

...over gates...

We just had such a lot of fun exploring and remembering. And it was the perfect visit for the perfect time.

Afterwards we had a cuppa, and Julia took off her hat, revealing her baldy head. We had a little laugh over the fact I'd also be bald in a few days... and the afternoon reminded me exactly why I was doing this.

I'm going to stand side by side with my friend, bald as a baby, in the not too distant future... £1000 is going to Cancer Research UK... and I've learned a lot through the experience.

Just before Christmas (21st December I believe) Julia gets the results of the latest scans to find out how the chemo's going - Good luck my friend!!

By the way, it's not too late to donate - it all goes to Cancer Research UK !! The website is at

JUST GIVING

4 days - Temperature's Red Hot!!!

2006-12-16T01:49:00.000-08:00

Oh My God!!!

Just looked at the total, and We're nearly there - only £40 to go!!! This is fantastic! Amazing! Stupendous! and many more superlatives!

I have no doubt we'll hit the target whatsoever- I know of another couple of donations that have been offered, and my nephew and son tell me there's been some few from 6th formers too! And if what they say is right -

WE'VE HIT THE TARGET!!!!

Yahaaaaaay!!! Hurrah!!! Yipeeee!!!

5 days - - - - - - !!!

2006-12-15T02:28:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed I've not been posting so much.

I reckon I'm a bit overwhelmed by it all actually....

Yesterday, I was in the staffroom, and saying to my workmates I'm close - very close! Only another hundred and something more....

Four people immediately said they hadn't put their sponsor up, and went to the form and wrote it on!!! I have to admit, a teeny weeny tear welled up in me, for all the generosity of people!!!

Karen and Lynne and Liz - a big part of their contribution is as a christmas present to the rest of us technicians... this year (I think I've mentioned this before) instead of pressies to each other, it was agreed the money that would have been used would go into my fundraising - So thank you so much for that! That was a very generous and appreciated thing to do!

There are too many people to name everyone in the post, but I'd just like to draw people's attention to all the names in the sidebar - this isn't everyone who's contributed - just the ones I've got the names of.... Without them, the target would not be reached.

I want to say a special thank you to all the students in the school who've made contributions. I am well aware that many of you have donated your last few pence, or your sweet money, and in some cases larger amounts. I appreciate that more than you can know. I'm well aware how much this is for you - when you don't have a lot, it is a lot more!!! So, a big thank you to you!
(and by the way, if you're going to come along on Wednesday - I think it's fair to say that we'll reach the target now!- bring along any other cash you'd like to donate and put it in the collecting boxes on the day!!! We might even just zip passed the target! :-D )

I have to go Christmas shopping now, but I'll try and write again soon!

7 days - 1 week today!!!

2006-12-13T05:39:00.000-08:00

Well, anyone who's been to Just Giving lately, and looked at my page, will see the thermometer's showing a rising temperature! Thing's are hotting up!!!

And, you might also note the day of the week is Wednesday. In exactly one week from now, I will be losing my mop (I'm convinced that the target of £1000 will be reached if we carry on the way we're going!)

Did I say before? I've talked with the IT technician aat school, and seems I'll be able to get the deed videoed, so as soon as possible afterwards I'll get it on Utube, and all the lovely people who've sponsored me, but can't actually be there, will get to have a ganders!!! (says me, quivering in me boots.....)

Photos will hopefully be up before I even leave the school....

Here's a picture of me from a physics teacher's slide show, which he's said I can have....as a momento of my hair :-D

11 days - A quick thank you!

2006-12-09T16:22:00.000-08:00

I'm a bit busy today, but just wanted to say a special thank you to my third cousin, Tony Smith, who sponsored me unexpectedly, and very generously, yesterday!

We've only met through the internet about a year ago, and have never met personally - but we apparently share the same gypsy blood! :-)

12 days - (12 days??!!!)

2006-12-07T14:35:00.000-08:00

.

Yesterday evening Tawny Owl, leader of my daughter's Brownie pack, asked me if I would go in at the beginning of Brownies, and have my hair measured - they'd been talking about what I'd been doing... They measured it to be 73 cm! That's nearly two and a half feet! Even I didn't think it was quite that long!!

And what a lovely surprise I had when I went to fetch my daughter at the end of the session - they had decided that the way to sponsor me was by donating 50p per centimeter, handing me a cheque for £37!!! Thank you so, so much 1st Wadhurst Brownies - You're all wonderful (especially you, Sally!) Tawny then also filled in my sponsor form, so I could get the tax on it reclaimed (which will be another £8-£9... not to be sneezed at!)

Then, whilst I was there, another lovely lady, Eileen Hemsley, also said she would sponsor me. Thankyou Eileen - it all helps!

13 days - final countdown

2006-12-07T03:51:00.000-08:00

My fellow science technicians and myself have agreed between us to put what we would have spent on pressies for each other into the funds - So, big thanks to Liz, Karen and Lynne!!! (I put my contribution on today - the £15 becoming £19.23 with the tax relaimed! Liz wrote hers onto the sponsor form along with a seperate personal sponsorship (thanks Liz!) and Lynne and Karen have said they'll do theirs online.... Which will be another £38 +

Also, today, Natalie brought in the funds she'd collected from around Ticehurst and her family with her sister, Donna (?) - another £55.07 - Excellent contribution and very well done Natalie - A huge thank you to you!!!

I also checked the sponsor form in the sports center - that's up to nearly £20 now - thanks to the staff and people passing through.

Thanks also to my sister, Karen, who's given a generous donation today.

I've added the above to the funds so far, and this brings the total to about £690... with promises of more to come...

(and also, I haven't yet added any tax that might be regained from the sponsor forms... I'm hoping to persuade a few more people to tick the box)

Getting there... step by step...

14 days - Officially over half way!!

2006-12-06T19:04:00.000-08:00

Ooo, I must've been asked half a dozen times about my hair being shaved off today, and with it brought mixed feelings.
Yes, I love my hair (sometimes :-D ), and yes, I will shave it off in front of the school, and yes, I am a bit nervous, but no I won't back out (oh er, if the target's reached, of course!)

I was over at the main staff room today, and a teacher said to check out one of the offices, as there was something for me there. When I went there, 3 largely stuffed envelopes were brought out and given to me... 3 envelopes full of coins the kids have collected themselves from each other - £43.22!!! Nice going kids! And a big thank you to all who collected, and all who donated - you're wonderful!

A Big, special well done in particular to these Stars:
Peter, David and TJ, who collected one Friday lunchtime
Dion Baker, Matt Jordon & Amber King, who collected one Friday break time
and whoever it was who collected last (?) Monday lunchtime and in afternoon registration period

While I was in this office, the visiting school nurse, hearing what I am going to do, immediately dug into her purse and made a contribution too! What a lovely gesture!

3 more people have signed up on the staffroom sponsor form - thanks guys! And a student has actually put her name down in the 6th form Common room... again, thank you!

So, all in all, I can add another £68.22 to that collected! Getting there, everyone! :-D

17 days... on your marks... get set...

2006-12-03T14:30:00.000-08:00

.

ha ha!

Not exacty running :-)

Though I was this morning...

Last night I was watching a film (something about a monkey) with my youngest, and fell asleep half way through. I have a vague recollection of her climbing off my bed and saying goodnight.... and then nothing until the morning! I woke up to the sound of wind blustering hard, and things knocking around outside, and wondered briefly if the cover of the swing seat was still there [how many times have I thought to take that in???!!]

Bleary -eyed, I wander downstairs to get a cuppa to take back to bed, only to see the front door wide open...

First thought was the dogs. I call the dogs...

Nothing.

I call the kids....

Nothing.

I run upstairs to check the kids. They're there (thank goodness! :-) ), but no dogs. Damn! The Jack Russel's been trouble from the word 'go!'

The whole reason I took him on in the first place was because he could jump my sister's 6 foot fence (and frequently did!) and he could get through a crack between the gate and it's post that I couldn't stick my fingers through (and no, I haven't got gi-normous hands!!! )

So, round the back, I have a special fence that alerts him if he gets too close. He's only run over it a couple of times, and is normally pretty good.... but the number of times I've had to run down the road in my slippers to catch the little bugger when he's escaped out the front door (it only takes a moment to forget, and it only takes a moment for him to slip between the legs and out...), and the number of times one of the kids has run without shoes down the street to catch him before he creates havoc on the roads (or worse...). He has absolutely no road sense whatever!

Back to this morning - the Jack was gone. But so was our other dog... good, faithful, well-behaved (normally!) and an absolute darling [ok, ok... we've had him since he was a puppy, and you can't help being extra attached to a dog that's chewed up all your shoes, eaten the carpets, dug holes in the walls - all at my mum's I hasten to add :-D - and come through it the other side as completely adorable!]. I called. I looked. I checked outside. Nope - little blighters had skipped it!

I was just about to put on the wellies [well, I would've if I could find any that fit :-) ] and start the hunt. I'd done this before, spending hours hunting, only to have the Jack return when he was hungry. But, in the meantime you worry, and anything could've happened, couldn't it?

Then I heard a beep. Could've been the house phone batteries running down. I was going to ignore it when I realised it could also have been an alert from my mobile. So, hunt the phone time... I'd used it last night, when I got back from my sister's, so it had to be around somewhere!! The worst thing about the mobile is that there's no reception in the house. All around the house, but not in it... The third company I'd tried as well....

Found the phone, and there were 6 (yes, six) missed phonecalls!! How could it be that not one of them had got through?
And they were all from the same number - a mobile number. A lovely person called Carol (A huge THANK YOU!) had found my dogs. She'd been trying to reach me, and finally had to give up, and drop them off at a police station 10 miles away in Tunbridge Wells! And what's worse, was she was dropping them off on the way to work, and it was only 5.45am! Poor thing!

So, rung the police, and found the station's not 'open' until 10am, but spoke to a very nice lady who took details and said she'd ring back. Finally, 10am arrives, and I go to fetch the dogs with youngest... Forgot about Christmas, didn't I?! Queues going way back... So, what should've taken 20 minutes, max, took an hour. Collecting the dogs wasn't too bad - we got to look about the hundred year old police station a wee bit, and see all the tiny old cells prisoners used to be kept in. The two dogs were joyful to see us - muddy paws all up our nice clean clothes (which happened to be wet on the backside anyway, because some idjut (ehm - me...) left the sun-roof open... and soon we were away home.

So, the little critters took up most of the morning. And the rest of day's been spent catching up...

Hopefully tomorrow will be a more fruitful day, in the way of things happening (or perhaps being a little less eventful :-) ).

(and maybe I'll even find someone else to sponsor me! :-) )

.

19 days...oh well...

2006-12-01T13:01:00.000-08:00

So, you know I said "Come Hell or High Water!" ?

Well, that was a wash-0ut!

I got up Thursday, dropped off various kid on route to work, and by the time I arrived, I already felt awful. By the time I'd said hello to my work-mates, all energy had sapped out of me... So, my lovely boss sent me home!

So, why didn't I write a post yesterday?

Well, tell the truth, I didn't have a clue what to say. I looked at the stats, and saw most of my visitors are coming from the States, and not from my local area, where one might expect a bit of support. I don't know if it's a week of being ill, or whether it's just that nothing's been happening at all on the Just Giving site, or that I haven't been able to do anything myself, not being up to it an' all...
But, I just haven't got the inspiration to write anything.

Maybe I need other peoples' input, their feedback, to keep me going? Or maybe I just need a kick up the backside to stop me moping (it isn't like me at all!)

So, I'm going to leave it for today, and maybe I'll think of something tomorrow...

If there's anyone reading this that lives nearby, please say "hello!" in the comments!

21 Days - you're kidding right? Just 3 weeks???

2006-11-29T03:07:00.000-08:00

.

I came to write something, thinking I have absolutely nothing to say today - I'm still queasy, and I've still got two kids at home, who I feel should've recovered completely by now, but haven't! :-(

However, writing the title, and seeing how long is left until the Big Bad Hair Day gave me a bit of a shock - Only three weeks? And, the Just Giving thermometer hasn't moved the whole time I've been lying here! :-(

So, according to that, I'm still under half way. I think I can rustle up a bit more support, but another £500? Darn, I'd better get out of my sick bed and do some serious canvassing!!!

But, I've got no energy. Whatsoever.

Ok, I'm going to give myself the rest of today to recover, and then, Hell or high water (where does that expression come from?), I'm going to shift myself into action tomorrow - back to work and back to work on the fundraising!

23 Days - yeughk!

2006-11-27T14:48:00.000-08:00

Well, you might wonder where I've been hiding... Two of the kids have been ill over the weekend, and today it's gotten me :-(

My hair, though in plaits, has not withstood lying down on it all day, and I'm just glad there's not a mirror where I'm sitting!!!

I'll attempt to say something of value tomorrow, but just now I'm going to crawl back under the blanket, and bid you goodnight!

25 Days... still plodding...

2006-11-25T06:11:00.000-08:00

As I sit here, the countdown clock at the top of the page says 25 days exactly. 25 days of hair left. 25 days to try to reach the $1000 (according to sums, $477 (inc the tax reclaimed) has been already raised, and the girls who went round Ticehurst said they'd raised a further $60, though I haven't seen them back with it yet... Hey, maybe they managed to collect more at Wadhurst, who knows!

Anyway, that would make about $537 (read pounds where the dollar sign is - I'm on the pc that's not got the proper keyboard!). And I haven't yet counted any tax back on the sponsor forms, as I'm still trying to see if the people who ticked the box, but haven't given their home address, might yet do so. But, there's probably at least another tenner there so far, so that would be about $547 - $550!

I haven't checked up on the Primary school sponsor form yet, nor have I talked to the 6th formers or the last house (Ash?). I also haven't yet done the local shops/ businesses [I just haven't had the time!] So hopefully that will add a wee bit. And, maybe if those teachers and staff who haven't yet 'got a round to it' added their bit... Well, maybe we'll get there!

Who else can I ask? Where else can I ask? Hmmm, it's difficult to think about it when worrying about sick children. So, I think I'll leave the question for another day....

27 Days

2006-11-23T04:56:00.000-08:00

(My son's at home ill (again!) today, so I've got time to do a 'proper' post...)

Julia - 6th form at UCC

I thought it was 28 Days to go... so , just as well I put that countdown bar in the title!!!

Something one of the students said has been niggling at me.

One lunchtime, some girls were building model cells, and while they were busy at that, I was busy sorting out the next lesson in the same lab. We talked for a while about what I was doing and why. Then we went onto the subject of one of the girl's mother's friends (the aquaintance being closer than the length of the description of aquaintance here!) having cancer.

She said she'd been told by her mother that the cancer was "eating away at her friend", which I was sad to hear. There's too many people in the world with this horrible disease. And each person has a life-story to tell. Each one is a person. Not a statistic. Not a memory the moment they discover they have cancer (I know a couple of people who've found that the reaction of others is to immediately count you as 'already gone'!!). Not simply the epitome of the illness. A real life person, who still has a lot of living to do!

Anyway, back to what I was saying. I've been dwelling on the image of cancer 'eating away' at the body. It's a strange expression, in that cancer is a growth of cells, not a reduction... Seems to me that (and I've heard people use the expression several times before) it is opposite to what happens. I suppose, what could be meant is that sometimes a person loses their appetite, especially if they feel ill with the treatment, or with pain, or sometimes with the drugs used to supress pain. But what it sounds like they mean is that their loss of weight is attributed directly to the cancer... (I don't believe it usually is).

The use of the expression made me wonder afterwards whether the student actually knew what the illness was, or whether the description was apt because she'd seen her mother' s friend losing weight.

Thing is, it's not always like that. My friend, Julia, has been carefully watching what she eats - removing anything that's not organic; watching there's not too much soya (containing chemicals which mimic the hormone oestrogen (I think), and which is therefore counterproductive when you've got a hormone-loving type cancer); reducing fats and sugars; cutting out alcohol. She's excercised - daily walks and some yoga. And most of the time she's energetic and humerous and enjoys just being alive!

You really wouldn't know she lives with cancer! In fact, as I've often said to her, most of the time she looks healthier than me! :-)

Our teenage pledge to live life to the full...

It's only really recently that those little blobs of cancer cells, that broke off and got carried round the body before she was treated the first time, started to grow again. For the last few years she's had it well under control. And (I heard from her yesterday) the treatment seems to be working - she can breathe clearer again, whatever was making her eye squinty has cleared off, and the pain's gone. So, the chemo seems to be doing its job (Great News!) and she sounded as cheerful as ever! (As predicted, she went bald after the third Chemo, so that's the only obvious sign she's still going through treatment. Well, along with being totally zonked for half the week....)

Point is - though she has the illness, and though she needs treatment every now and then - she carries on her life. It didn't simply 'stop' when she found she had cancer. Most of the time she eats well, stays healthy. She is living. Not dying. And when I hear expressions like the one above, I feel that its already 'striking someone off the list'. It's putting them in the category 'not much longer'. This shouldn't be. Each new day, new hope may be found. Each new day is a day to be glad to be alive (for any of us!). And each new day, one might hope a new treatment can be found to combat the cause or the effects of cancer.

No one knows how long they've got. Not you. Not me. Not anyone. Many surprise themselves and others, by being 'miracles' who beat the illness, or who live way past an expected time. In fact, my friend tells me they no longer tell you how long you supposedly have to live, because people tend to go by that, and their subconscious works on keeping to it!!

I know of someone, a boyfriend of a friend, who had lung cancer, and was told he had maximum 6 months to live. Well, he did the Bristol Diet thing (treating the whole person, not just the body), and when he went for one of his check ups they proclaimed him 'all clear'! Years later, this is still so...

So, it is possible.

That doesn't mean a person should be under pressure to perform miracles. That's one thing Julia has said - having heard of other people's miraculous cures, everyone looks to you to do the same. And then you feel guilty for not succeeding!! On top of all the worries about the illness itself. That's crazy! But, trying out new things, regardless of how well they work, may open a person to being happier about themselves, or teach them to relax, or say 'no'.

Who knows where learning a new idea will take you....

Bristol Cancer Centre - a view by Saga Health

Bristol Cancer Help Centre - contact

Photo-shoot for our design business 'Machu Picchu' about 20 years ago
- taking a few risks...
(not advisable - I broke the heels off my new boots! )

29 Days - one footstep joins another

2006-11-21T02:46:00.000-08:00

Well, I'd like to say we were wizzing towards the target, but we're not. It's a slow ol' plod, one step at the time. But, you know what? It's a really nice walk - some steps are little, and some bigger, but each is taken in the right direction. And each is a contribution towards reaching the goal.

Today, I checked out the main staffroom sponsor form - there was another donor today (I've been told by quite a few people they keep forgetting! Still, there's time left...) - Thanks Beryl!

Then I checked out the Sports Hall, and there was a couple of donors there - thanks Paige and Andrea, and whoever put the change in the box (mind you, I haven't checked it wasn't buttons yet! :-))
And then, more thanks to Ann, David and Roy in the butchers, Wadhurst - I go there regularly, and minced them into submission to sign! :-)

We've still got quite a way to go, so keep on plodding, guys!

Oh, and if you happen to have a business in the local villages, one of the kids at school rightly pointed out I should be asking you too - so please have a bucket full of gold ready for my arrival (failing that, so paper notes always go down well) - it's for a good cause! :-)

1 month to go!

2006-11-20T00:27:00.000-08:00

One month today, and my hair will be gone (Why, oh why, did I start so early? The waiting's excrutiating!!! :-S)

Another blogger, who kindly donated, helping me to reach my target is Topchamp - thank you!

32 Days - My Last Plaits - pics

2006-11-18T11:21:00.000-08:00

These two pics were taken by my daughter this morning, for the days when I have no hair :-)

Even plaited up it's a fair old length!

(ehm... hurry up - it might be sunny, but it's freezin' out here! :-D )

33 Days - plaits

2006-11-17T19:03:00.000-08:00

It's nearly 3am and I finally finished doing my plaits! Hooooray! :-D

(maybe piccie tomorrow...)

34 Days - (what happened to 35?)

2006-11-16T11:45:00.000-08:00

Ok, I don't know what's been happening over the last few days - I've lost track a little, with lots of stuff going on, and things to do!

So, let's see if I can remember...

Yesterday, I spoke in front of 'Hawthorne' House years 7 & 8 [the upper school were doing something in the Hall - I think it was watching the 6th formers performing 'Fame', which they are showing to the public tonight (Thursday), tomorrow and 2 performances on Saturday]

Because the 6th formers had taken over the main hall, the Hawthorne assembly was held in the sports hall, and the kids were sat on the ground (just like primary! :-) ) which was kind of strange. I was introduced, and one of the teachers holding the assembly (naming no names! :-D ) whispered as I went passed, "Take all the time you need - as long as you can- we can't show the dvd clip we were going to!" Yoikes! They're expecting me to fill in time??!!! No pressure, like!

I don't think I did toooooo bad - managed to say the relevant stuff - why, where, how much I want to raise, this blog, and ended with another teacher taking the collection box off me I'd showed to the kids to recognise it... ehm, I also challenged them to beat the amazing $32 raised by Oak House! [couldn't resist... :-)] Legs still felt like jelly when I left the hall though...

But, on the way out, one of the sports hall receptionists said she would sponsor me, and would I bring a form over? (oh yes, course I can! Back in zero point 5 seconds! - and I was too)

Another kind act was by Diane Baker, who took a fly-leaflet home, and asked her hubby to take it into work... Apparently (sorry guys at hubby's work) it's pinned up on some noticeboard... Thanks Diane. Hopefully someone there might add a donation into the pot!

Last night, I'd planned to plait my hair up for the last time, possibly, ever! Talk about 'thwarted' - First , C puked up, and I had to leave work pronto! Then J came home not feeling well, and had to lie down... of course, this would also all have to happen on parent's consultation evening, wouldn't it?

Then, later, just as I was thinking - "Yes! I can do it now!" (all kids being occupied in one form or another), R extracted a letter from her bookbag - "Here mummy, read this - it's important!"
Of course it was 'important'! It was another bug-busting letter. The ones I've grown to dread...
For years, whenever I've had one of these letters, it's spelt an evening of heavy hair conditioning, along with hours of combing 5 heads- 'just in case'! The worst hair to do being mine...

Well, we were all bug-free and I sighed with relief as I put the combs away... No fine-combing the whole family's heads alternate days for a fortnight! (thank goodness!)

But, no plaits either :-(

And tonight's 'running round' night, where I'm exclusively available for being taxi service for the kids (though C's not feeling up to scouts, having returned to school today, and been 'washed out', so that's one less double journey to make)... Seeing as the plaiting takes 3 - 4 hours, I don't think I'm going to have long enough to do it today (though I could make a start, and go around with half a head plaited tomorrow... :-)).

Also, at Brownies, Tawny Owl asked me if I would pop in at the beginning of one meeting, so they can measure my hair properly {so they can work out the best way to sponsor me! - nice folks! :-) }... hmmm, I've just thought. If I plait my hair, it will be a couple of inches shorter. But I can't not plait it - it's my last chance... On this one I'm going to have to be selfish. I love having my hair up in plaits, and that's one thing I'm really going to miss (not going to miss the bug-busting though :-) )

36 Days - kids ill

2006-11-15T00:39:00.000-08:00

Just a quick one today, as the kids aren't well...

I had a visit from my lovely pussy-cat friends Buddy and Finnigan, and they did a really nice thing - they put a post on their blog for all their feline friends to visit! Well, I've had some furry wonderful visitors since then (and since a posting also went on the Cat Blogosphere -with more thanks to Sanjee and the House of the Mostly Black Cats!-) Sanjee and friends also generously made a donation - thanks again cool cats!

37 Days - 3 Gold Stars!

2006-11-13T16:13:00.000-08:00

Those three stars came to the prep room last week, and took away collection boxes. They collected £21 the first round, and just over £10 the second. Then (my absolute heroines!) they took the boxes home with them at the end of last week, and collected money all round Ticehurst!

Natalie told me today they'd 'been to every house in the village' and collected another £60. She also said that next week they were going to catch the bus into Wadhurst, and do the rounds there (so, if you see them, tell them what a wonderful thing they're doing, won't you - and give a little, if you can!)
These three girls deserve a mention all of their own:

Natalie Berry
Afton Carter
Tilly Rummery

As I said - three solid gold stars!

38 Days ( I think!)

2006-11-12T14:11:00.000-08:00

Well, that was a lovely weekend I spent with my friends... relaxing and enjoyable in their new home on the coast.

We went for walks, and took in the views. We also visited an old friend of theirs, whos husband sadly died of cancer about 3 years ago. Of course, they are all still missing him. I remember once having a card evening with the couple, and what a fun time we had...

I hope what I am doing (with the help of all those supporting me) will go a little way to prevent the longer term sadness and effect on people's lives, when they have to see someone they care about living with such an illness.

My friends had a few ideas themselves about how I should go about the 'big shave' (I've now been nicknamed "Baldy-to-be" by them! :-D ). One of the ideas was to get a big name/ well known hair stylist to perform the ghastly deed [I'll certainly think about it...]

Then, just before leaving, they gave me a very generous cheque towards the target, for which I am really grateful! And the words of support (ehm... apart from the new nickname? :-) )were even more uplifting, and buoyed me up no end -

Thanks Chris & Mary!!!

I believe the total contributions so far are roughly as follows :

Online at Just Giving = £178.00
(+ tax reclaimed from online donations = £36.67)
Collections from 'Oak' house = £32.34
Main staffroom sponsors (last checked thursday 8 th Nov) = £95.00
Science staffroom sponsors = £10
Other donors = £35

Estimated total so far = £387.01 !!!!

Good going folks - that's nearly 40% of the target! Well done everyone - we're getting there :-)

42 Days

2006-11-09T14:52:00.000-08:00

Just a quick post tonight - I'm absolutely shattered! I think there was just three things I wanted to say:

Wow! to the girls from 'Oak' , who (without asking them) came and fetched the collecting boxes from the staffroom, and gave up their lunchtime to rustle up some more funds. They managed to raise another $10.74 (that's supposed to be pounds, but the dogs knocked the laptop on the floor, and now it's behaving all peculiar! :-S ), which brings the total for Oak house to $32.34!!! On top of this, all three asked to take a box home with them, so that the can collect from their local areas. Good luck, girls! And a special thank you. I did ask for, and write down, your names, but somewhere between the school and home, I managed to lose it! Sorry. If you wouldn't mind, could you come and let me know who you are on Monday, so I can acknowledge your good deed
Thanks to all those in the main staffroom, who've generously added their names to the list of sponsors/ donators - names I collected so far are in the sidebar (if you wish your name removed, please let me know, but I'd like to thank you all for what you are doing...)
Over the last week or two, any number of times, people come up to me, and tell me how 'brave' I am to lop of all my hair. Well, you know how, when you're feeling rather vulnerable, and you're trying to be strong, and you've been laughing and joking about things, no problem, then someone says to you, "Are you alright?" in a concerned voice... and you crack? Your lip trembles, your eyes well up, and kaput! You're off! Well, I'm feeling a bit like that. I'm enjoying all the palava of getting one thing after another sorted, and I'm totally wallowing in the kindness of people - not only of donations, but of words of support and enthusiasm... Then someone says, "Oh, you're brave!" or something such like, and suddenly (like it's a switch or something) my insides turn to mush, and I wonder what the heck I'm doing!?!! I like my hair - it's long, and I can do stuff to it. In fact, my favourite hairstyle is plaiting it all up in teeny tiny plaits, and just leaving it like that for a couple of months [note to self: do first opportunity - it'll be the last chance you get for a veeeeery long time!] Anyway, point is, I suddenly don't feel so brave, and want to pretend it wasn't really me in that photo (well, no-one could recognise me from it anyway!) So, pleeease, don't tell me I'm brave. Tell me I'm mad, or a fool, or just plain doing a good thing (you'll have a smile for that one! :-) Just not that I'm 'brave!' -Thanks!

43 Days - yowser!

2006-11-08T04:13:00.000-08:00

I'm so impressed with how everyone's digging in their pockets and supporting me! The two girls who took the collection box round to the 'Oak' house classes came back with £21.60 (well done Oak!). I happen to know that children were very generous, putting their last pennies and snack money into the box - So, a big thank you, guys!

Then, I went over and spoke in a support staff meeting in the main staffroom, bringing with me a sponsor form. After the meeting, I left it on the table... and when I returned later to photocopy, I found there was a grand total of £60 on there already - that is so cool! Well done everyone who's put there name down already (don't forget to tick the box at the side, and put your home address [not work - they don't accept that] so we can collect the tax for the Cancer Research UK fund as well !)

Another donation that moved me wasn't a big one, but it was significant in that it was made by someone (well, two cats actually! :-)) on the other side of the Atlantic, who'd read my blog... A note was left on yesterday's post.

So, estimate of total so far is around £300

Put up a whole lot of flyers over the school today (will do some more elsewhere tomorrow), and kept getting stopped by kids asking questions such as, "Are you really going to shave your head?" and "How much are you going to get?"

One young lass asked me the latter question. I told her "Not less than £1000" and pointed to one of the flyers nearby. As I walked away, I heard her say to her friends "My mum raised £8000!" (ok, that put me in my place... :-)) So, as I passed again a short while later, I checked I'd heard right. Sure enough, her mother's friend had also had cancer, and over the period of a year she'd raised £8000 and walked the Great Wall of China - Well done that mum!

Dona Nobis Pacem

2006-11-06T03:47:00.000-08:00

44 Days - and 1/5th of the way to target!

To start, just a reminder where the Just Giving donation page is.

Now, the good news - we've just passed £200!!! That's one fifth of the way to the target! Thank you everyone who's donated so far :-D :-D

Recent donations have come from Pip (A special big thank you to her for all the help and advice she's been giving me too!) and from Penelope Brett (hope your daughter didn't bully you into it! :-) )

I can't remember if I answered Caroline Roberts's comment- hats are building up (I keep coming across them, and thinking 'that'll be handy!', and have some promised for Christmas too!) Luckily I have a little collection of my own anyway - I do love hats!!

Also, I have to say Kath, you are forgiven for putting me on the spot about speaking in assembly - You've been fantastic, getting the kids to go round with the collection boxes to all the classes in your 'house'! I don't know how much has been raised yet (I had my own collection to make - my daughter) but, whatever it is, thank you for your great help. (And yes, I will get round to talking with the other 2 houses about speaking in their assemblies.... ehm... plenty of time yet!). Oh, and of course thanks to the girls who went round with the boxes!!

Also got the sponsor forms in circulation - I have a few ideas where they might best be available for all the millions of sponsors rushing to sign up!! :-) The first one signed on the dotted line this evening - the lovely mum who's been looking after my daughter all day (Thanks Diane! :-)) . So, now there's another £10 in the pot (actually £12.50 with tax - I'll keep pushing this as it really does make a difference - another 25%!), so we're creeping up to a quarter of the way there already - isn't everyone being so fantastic!

On a last note, I was chatting to a small group of kids from the lower school at lunchtime. They'd started by commenting on my going bald, and asking why I was doing it. Having repeated about my friend Julia, and the reasons the baldness has significance for me, and having had the mickey taken about my future shiny scalp (and their amazement I was going to actually do it!) we talked ended up talking about how it was affecting one of the girl's mother's friend, and her friend's sister, and how it ran through the family.

Sometimes I can't comprehend how many people are affected, either directly or indirectly, by this disease (go to any holistic healer/ doctor, and they will remind you 'disease' means 'not at ease', so something that isn't sitting right with your body/ mind...) The sadness I feel each time I hear of another person who is living with it, doesn't blunten with the hearing (sometimes I wish it would! :-( ) but grows all the time.

Each person's (I shouldn't say 'pain' and 'hardship' - that's not supposed to help with being positive- though that is what I'm thinking), life challenges (shall we say) seems to accumulate... and I'm finding butterflies (actually, I think they're bats!) flying round my stomach. Because, in a way, although I'm trying to do something to help, I really don't feel I am. Small drops in the ocean, and all that...

But, I suppose, if we can only be a small drop, then we should all try to join a stream, and that stream to join the sea...

We do what we can.

(There was something else I was going to say today, but I can't for the life of me think what it was! Maybe I'll remember tomorrow...)

45 Days - Good Luck, Julia!

2006-11-05T15:32:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note tonight. My friend, Julia (previously called 'Zena') is having another lot of Chemo tomorrow, after a break to settle physical side-effects. I just want to wish her well, and good luck with it - hope it goes OK!

46 Days - Guy Fawkes Night (not!)

2006-11-04T16:17:00.000-08:00

My friend Julia (I can now use her real name),
and I, messing about [ doing our "Morecombe
and Wise" impression :-D]
as teenagers

I'm beginning to feel like I'm just a potential haircut! :-(

This morning, whilst helping out at the Brownie jumble sale, I found myself talking about the headshave to a couple of the other helpers. Ok, I like to talk about it, because I'm kind of pleased other people are interested, and want to help/ donate.

Then I met someone in the village, who mentioned it, and wished me well. And again, this evening, when I gave a lift to my son and a couple of his friends, they said they'd read/ heard about it, and would like to donate.

Then again, tonight, at the firework display.

You know what? It's really, really cool so many people are rooting for me, and have said they will donate...But I'm beginning to panic whether anyone else is actually going to donate and whether I'll reach the target! :-S I keep on checking the Just Giving website... but no change...
I was sort of thinking/hoping there would be a slow, but steady-ish, trickle of donations. Crikey, I know there's over a month to go, but there was two when I started...

If everyone who's said they will put something in the pot does, then it'll be alright, but if they don't....well, then, that kind of puts me in a bit of a quandry. I need to reach the target. It's a goal I set because I thought it attainable... I hope I'm right. Shaving off my hair for less than that seems a cryin' shame!!! So, I really shouldn't.

I guess, what I mean, is that if I simply shave my hair off, and haven't raised a decent amount of funds, then it will be just a haircut :-(
There has to be a positive outcome for doing this. To be at least some little bit of help in the fight against cancer.

Of course, I don't intend to denegrate the wonderful donations made so far - they're great, and have got me off the starting line - but I don't want us to only raise this amount! I would like to know that there was enough to fund a small project, or make one feasible where otherwise it wouldn't have been. It might be 'the one' project that could change things around - hey, you never know!

So, an appeal: Would anyone (anyone!) please put something into the account (even if it's just £2 - I think that's the minimum they'll take), just so I know it's still on track? Thanks. I'd really appreciate it! :-)

47 Days - Another Donation

2006-11-03T17:08:00.000-08:00

So, though this post is a bit late, I'm still counting it as for the 3rd November, because I haven't been to sleep yet...

Well, it was my day off today, and I went to visit my mum in her nursing home. It was worth the trip - I got the biggest smile ever!

And I gave a big smile too...

When my youngest daughter, R. , came back from school today, she brought with her another donation (sadly not one of funds - that appears to have been static for several days, so if you are waiting for the last minute - please don't! I'm looking all the time, and it's sooooo disappointing when the thermometer doesn't move...).

No, the donation my daughter brought back from school was a package - a plastic bag. I took it, curious what it might contain, and why she was giving it to me. As I opened it, I chuckled... I could see what one of the three items was - Red and furry with distinctive white trim - yep, a Santa's hat! But what really made me laugh were the little (or should I say 'huge') black protrusions - ears! Mickey Mouse ears! I tried the hat on (and no, I didn't get a photo of that) and imagined absolutely no hair coming out from beneath the trim.... :-D

Out from the bag also fell a postcard (Enid Blyton's Malory Towers) - the girls looked like they were having a bit of a laugh (with all their nice hairdos...), and on the back is a message of good luck, and "I thought these might come in handy!!" - Thanks Wendy, they will :-D I'll be sure to wear the Mickey-Santa hat after the headshave on the last day of term!!!

Whispering, giggling girls
at
Enid Blyton's 'Malory Towers'

[excuse the quality - haven't got a good zoom]

48 Days - Snowball down a Mountain

2006-11-02T14:02:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a day!

So, now I know what a snowball feels like, when it's been rolled over edge - onto a steep, snow-deep slope!

I put some of the collection boxes together during break, and changed the title of the posters (ehm, maybe 'Baring it All' isn't quite appropriate for a school noticeboard? :-)) and printed a few to try them out. Got one up next to a 'countdown' number 48 (which some kids were to be heard discussing only a short time later)

When I was over at the main building, I had several teachers wish me luck, and another lovely person come up and tell me she would sponsor me - it was so warming...

And then (and I'm going to name names, because she dropped me right in it!) Miss Lait came to visit me in my prep room... She told me she was doing an assembly on things people had done, or happened to them, which made them think differently, and would I like to join some 6th formers and say about my fundraising effort? I decided it was about time to come out of the prep room, and go 'school-wide' with this hair shaving thing! So, I agreed (then regretted it for the next few hours whilst the adrenalin bit holes in my stomach and nibbled the bones out of my legs, so I could hardly stand! Having my head shaved in front of loads of kids is one thing, but speak in front of them???)

After lunch, I nervously headed for the hall. I didn't think I could really tell all these children about my friend, and how she was going through chemo. Suddenly it felt too much to talk about. I knew, however, that if I was going to get the attention and support of the children, I would need to tell them why I was doing this seemingly bizarre thing.

Miss L. opened by a reciting poem by Robert Frost... [which, as an extremely weird coincidence, I read for the first time last night on 'Truth is Freedom'! ] With an air of unreality (and yet, oh so real), I listened to the stories of the 6th formers (noting they were equally nervous, but speaking nevertheless...) and found myself impressed with, not only their dreams, but their 'take' on the experiences they'd had. But, to be truly honest, that part went in a bit of a blur...

Then it came to my turn. I was introduced, and stood up, and thought of my friend going through chemo, and wanted to cry. It was all I could do not to! For a moment, when I started speaking, and my voice about gave out, I thought I was about to blow my school rep - not that it's much, right enough. Just didn't want to end up a blubbering wreck in front of a hall full of kids!

Somehow I got off the subject of how we'd become friends at the very same school some thirty odd years ago, and been friends ever since. I managed to mention that she was going through chemotherapy and had lost her hair, with only a quiver in my voice. And, by the last few seconds, I spoke a mite more confidently about looking out for posters and collecting boxes... then more or less collapsed back into the half-sized plastic chair with relief it's over! (How teachers do this all the time beats me!)

Ah, but was it? Afterwards, another teacher said, 'but, if you've spoken in the assembly for one 'house', surely you should do it for the other two?' and went on to say he would suggest it to the heads of the other two houses, so they wouldn't be left out (Thanks, Mr P!) Well, I suppose I'm secretly pleased everyone's paying so much attention, and being so helpful. And I am! Couldn't do it without all this support... even though I feel like that snowball, in the centre of an avalanche on the mountain... That'll teach me to yodel!

But what really touched me was, just afterwards, before leaving the hall, one of the 6th formers who'd been standing next to me speaking (actually, I believe she'd been saying she'd left and started her own business...?) came over and took a couple of pound coins out her purse, and put them into the collecting box I'd been waving around to show!! She'd thought I was 'doing a good thing'. So, I felt chuffed, and it renewed my hope in the next generation...

When I went to fetch my youngest daughter, the topic of conversation came naturally round to my new haircut (being as my hair was still loose from this afternoon in the hall), and it was some time before I realised my lovely daughter wasn't actually at the school! Nor could I find her on the way home. Back at the school, another search revealed no hiding child, and I was about to go into a full-blown panic [not true- I had already begun the full-blown panic :-( ], when her class teacher made the decision to phone home (even though I knew I'd locked the door, and she wouldn't be able to get in)... and the little ehm sweetheart answered. She'd remembered her key today! Relief washed over the adrenaline-gnawed bones, and I could've sunk to the floor. But, as you do, I went home and gave her a big hug.

Later, at brownies, the hair came up again (Tawny loved the 'Hair today, gone tomorrow!' comment, and I'm waiting for her to come up with a string of comments to match :-)) But, the nice thing about people is that they all want to help. And after mentioning someone else who'd been affected by cancer, Tawny said she would pass the message on to as many people as possible.

God, I love people! I reckon this is the sort of thing that happened during the 'Blitz' - People pulling together, each making their own contribution... (ok, a bit dramatic, but illustrative...)

49 Days - Help!

2006-11-01T10:20:00.000-08:00

No, I don't mean "Help!" in an "Oh my gawd, I'm in trouble!" sort of way. Nor am I saying it in a "Please help me!" way either (though, if you can tell me why I can't upload the images I've been attempting to for the last couple of days, I'd be grateful!)

No, why I wrote 'Help!' is because of all the wonderful offers of help I've been given, or offered, over the last couple of days. I've been greatly impressed by how much everyone wants to do something - anything. From sending emails to friends, to let them know what I'm doing; to offering to take a flyer home for their husband to take in to work and show round (probably to have a good laugh, at the very least! :-) ) and see if support can be drummed up in other places; or to simply telling me how they are following the blog to see what's going on.

All of these things people are doing are encouraging for me. But, more, it is an expression of how much people want to do something for cancer research. Any number of times, I've been told of someone who's got or had cancer, and how helpless the person has felt. And maybe they haven't turned that feeling into actually doing something at the time they felt it. Or, maybe they hope that no other person should ever go through what their loved ones, or they themselves, have gone through.

As I often quote (from an Amnesty photo on my wall), "Many little things done by many little people will change the face of the world." No one person alone feels powerful enough to make a major difference. And yet, all the people of the past, who've felt that they would do what they could, have advanced the level of treatment to what it is today. Life has been extended by years, and in many cases, life can return to 'normal' without the fear hanging over it.

So... We are 'those people', for the world of the future. What we can do to help today will extend lives, and save lives, in the future. Maybe it will be the life of our child, or grandchild that our efforts save. Or maybe of the life of a friend or partner. Whoever knows.

The alternative is not doing anything. I guess we can all imagine what that means...

No money = no medical advances

no medical advances = no hope

no hope = despair

Ok, that sounds dire. But then, for those who need help, it is. Most just need the knowledge that new advances are being made every day. That is enough. That is hope.

And that is what we can do. We can contribute to making those little medical advances happen every day. We can make a difference!

50 Days - Why on Earth did you use that name?

2006-10-29T13:10:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Iain for adding to my sponsors last night - went to look this morning (sad bugger I am! :-)) and was well pleased - which brings the total up to £160.38 [£135 + £25.38 tax reclaimed] Great - more than 15%! [in fact, I'm sad enough to have worked out, that's 16.038% :-D ]
Keep the donations coming, guys!

Why 'Baring it all'?

Obvious reason of getting rid of hair and baring scalp
Catchy
Play on word 'bearing', as in it is something I and, in a different way, cancer survivors are going through, or 'bearing'
Also playing with the word 'baring' as in baring my feelings openly in this blog

If some people might come to this site looking for titivation, then I apologize for possible misleading, but I don't apologize for the title- I think it's apt! :-)

PS. Since this morning, there have been two more great sponsors - a huge thankyou to Caroline Roberts [seems like everyone wants to give me hats! But I like them, so what the heck! :-) ] and also to (you know who you are!) 'anonymous'. Both very gratefully received!

The new total is now (with tax reclaimed) a grand £179.62 - fantastic!

(unfortunately, when I tried to download the pictures of the new total, it just comes up blank - but you could always go and look yourself! :-) Donate safely on 'Just Giving'! )

51 Days - Does gene diagnosis help?

2006-10-29T13:08:00.000-08:00

As you can see, I hit the local newspaper on Friday when I was away, and I didn't even realise it! :-) Yesterday, on my return from Norfolk, I popped into the local newsagents to pick up a copy of the Kent and Sussex Courier, but just my luck - they'd run out (apparently because the local primary school had their photo in it!)

So, this morning, instead of rushing straight into work, I took a detour to another shop, and picked up a copy there. I didn't expect to be on the front page, and I wasn't. I didn't expect to be on the second page, and I wasn't. In fact, I half expected not to be in there at all! (did you think I'd say, 'and I wasn't'?) So, when I found the story on page 9, I have to say I had mixed feelings:

Yahay! It's in there!
Damn, that's a bad picture (how did they managed to blur a picture that was fine???!!!)
Hooray! No-one can see my face! Don't need to hide from people's curious looks...
Boo - I'll have to find another way to raise the profile...
Great!- the reporter got in most of the relevant points (and was a very lovely person, if you're reading and want to do an article nearer the time! :-))
Help! Yes, it is real! As is the number of comments in passing, such as "keep your hair on!", or (instead of 'enjoy the weekend') "Enjoy your hair!" and other wittisisms such as "Hair today and gone tomorrow..." You know teachers - such a smart-ass lot :-)

So, all day I looked to see how my fame has affected donations (not at all!!) and page visits (would you believe it? a decrease!) Hmmm, gonna have to do a lot better than this to reach the target! So, what...? What now?

Anyway, now some more ponderings. So many people are now talking to me about their cancer experiences, and I feel an overwhelming sadness for all the people who have had to watch someone they love go through the experience, and for all the people who are themselves diagnosed - all feeling helpless in the face of what appears, at first, to be hopeless. Yet, there is still hope. Ever increasing hope, in fact (and thank goodness for it!) And for the people who experience this illness themselves - I have the greatest respect in the world. We have been raised to believe that it is a terrible, 'killing' disease. Yet, these people are proving the past wrong all the time. Cancer survivors are on the increase. And new ways of thinking, new methods of treatment and new ways of prevention are always appearing and proving beneficial. Hope is getting stronger.

Now, all we got to do is kick the bugger out of the medical dictionary and into the history books!

-Any which way we can...

Gene diagnosis

Another issue that was raised this weekend was about the availability of a test in Denmark to ascertain whether there is a likelihood for breast cancer to develop (whether there is an increased chance of it, a bigger propensity towards it).

If the gene is found, it doesn't mean you will have cancer, only that the risk is higher. Then, other factors might be significant (though, that isn't to say that a person could necessarily do something to prevent it completely, but might be able to make changes in her life to decrease the risk (there are always factors none of us can eliminate, eg life experiences!))

The point is, young teenagers are finding out they have a gene, which increases the chance of cancer occurring. They are then having an operation to remove both breasts, in an attempt to stop it before it begins. Many of these young people have had to watch a close relative suffer the whole illness and treatment, so who can blame them for wanting to remove the parts of the body where it is likely to occur? To try and prevent the illness before it begins...

I know it is a very personal, and understandable, decision to have the operation, but does it actually prevent it, or is it simply an attempt to reduce the fear (which, in itself, can be a positive step...though there are different, less invasive, ways of helping with the fear)?

As someone else pointed out - better knowledge about diet, exercise, drinking, smoking, stress - calming techniques, and sometimes simply learning the ability to say 'no' might be a lot more effective and less stressful way of improving chances. And regardless, these methods could improve quality of life anyhow.

Life itself can't bring you joy,

unless you really will it.

Life just gives you time and space-

it's up to you to fill it!

(a childhood verse by my friend, Zena)

52 Days - reaffirmation of reasons...

2006-10-29T12:53:00.000-08:00

(First of all - I did do a post on Friday before I left for Norwich, but unfortunately that's obviously got lost in 'The Voidoid' Apologies, as I can't remember what it was even about now :-( )

I've just come back from a 'Cousins' Party' (so dubbed by my Danish relations, for self-obvious reasons). On the first night my intention for the head-shave emerged. From all the voices at the table, one cousin's was louder, and more vehement than the other:

"Why are you doing this? Everyone shaves their head - no-one will give money for that! You would have to be Madonna, or someone famous, for anyone to care!"

(Though he did also said he respected the need for raising funds for research, and wished for treatments that didn't make a person ill...)

I pointed out that it wasn't going to happen for nearly two months and that a lot of people had already pledged their support, but he couldn't understand. His insistence that it was a pointless exercise upset me.

Of course, I could have stayed upset, but my lovely sister talked me through, and gave me confidence again. I told her, "I need to feel like I'm doing something- anything- or else what have I got to hold onto?"

She reminded me of the support I already have, and the lives it's already touching on… "You are doing something - more than most!" (thank you again, my lovely sister :-))

So, anyway, I woke in the middle of the night, unable to sleep (seems to becoming a habit!), and found myself working out the reasons for what I'm doing. Some of them are already on the donation page at 'Just Giving', but to be clear in my own mind...

why?

Because so many people I've known in my life have been touched by it, and it doesn't appear to be less prevalent (though treatments have improved)
because there's still a way to go for treatments to be 100% effective (and it's people who have put so much effort into fundraising and research that have got it as far as it is today!)
because when it does touch peoples lives, there is still a feeling of despair when first diagnosed - it would be wonderful if, when people first hear the words, 'you have cancer' that the immediate reaction is annoyance that it is going to inconvenience them for a while. (Even better would be that no consultant or doctor would ever have to say those words!)
Because my Childhood friend now has it, and though I'm there for her as much as I can be, I still feel so helpless as she struggles through the harsh treatments, trying to decide whether it's worth continuing when it makes her feel so bad...
because, while I can't physically do something for my friend (I can't make her better, nor take her pain away), I can at least try to do something towards the ongoing quest for improvement in treatment - for ourselves, and for our children.
shaving my head to raise funds, whilst not original, is something in my power to do... and it means something to me (both in the physical hair loss, and the idea why the loss of hair is significant -see). If I didn't care about it, then it would be no big deal.
And it was because cancer touches on so many peoples' lives, that so many people encouraged me to "Go for it!"

It's strange I felt put in the position to justify my actions, but then the person who questioned them admitted he'd never personally been 'touched' by cancer. He also forced me to think about my reasons, so thanks for that, J.!

55 Days - Words of inspiration

2006-10-26T04:16:00.000-07:00

I was left a beautiful poem about hope, by a cancer survivor who visited my sister site (Thank you). She has given me permission to reproduce it here:

"Hope" is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

Cancer will not take my heart.

(See angel-feathers-tickle-me for more wonderful words and pictures)

Eughh! Just heated up a fresh pot of coffee, looked forward to the taste of the new 'fair-trade' brand I'm trying out... Poured the coffee, added the milk and came to sit down - only to discover I'd put orange juice in the cup! Talk about lack of concentration! :-S

Anyway, back to today's post - Now it's under discussion how I should have my hair for the shave- up in plaits, so people can cut them off one-by-one? And possibly they could be kept as souvenirs? Or (seems more likely) the big shave to two foot of hair. Most enthusiasm has been expressed for the latter - a lot of enthusiasm actually (just a 'tad' more than necessary? :-))
I told my older daughter she could have a lock to add to her scalp-belt :-) And suggested I should hang them from the school gates (to let prospective parents and pupils know what really goes on in the school :-D )
Someone suggested I might be able to sell them - not to a wig-maker, certainly, because I've dyed and re-dyed it so many times I'm surprised each strand isn't at least a centimeter thick! Maybe to other scalp-hunters then... :-)

56 Days - Bad Hair Day!

2006-10-24T12:48:00.000-07:00

This has not been the best day ever!

First of all, I dropped my mobile yesterday, and the screen went blank. So, although the phone just about works (I think) I can't use it for phoning out or texting :-(

Secondly, I've had one heck of a morning with the car. A fuse has gone for the central locking. I've changed it 3 times in the last few weeks (the last time being last night). Luckily, one door remained open - which, ok, meant that I had to do an undignified slide in from the back, over the handbrake, and then pull my legs up to my chest to get them where they should rightly go - down in the pedal space!! Whilst congratulating myself that I was fit enough to make this lithe movement, I realised I had pulled a muscle in my hip - painful when I moved. But never mind, I was in...

All was fine until I dropped off my son to walk the dogs. Then, as he closed the door on the way out, I heard an ominous whirrrrr. Ignoring it until I got home, I did a reverse of the 'getting in' manouvre, with even more fun and games avoiding doing any more damage to the hip.... Only to find the back door was now also firmly locked! Help! [You think I should've just pulled up the lock? - fat chance! The lock had gone on 'immobilise' and wasn't budging, no matter how hard I pulled, nor how hard I stared at it, willing it up :-( ] So, I was trapped there. I wondered for how long.... It could be a while. And it would be really embarrassing if the AA had to come out and release me (if it were at all possible!)...

Oh yes, and of course I didn't have my mobile phone, because it was broken!!!

After about 5 minutes of running through the options (one of which was to smash the window), I suddenly realised (slow-bo that I am!) that the engine was still working, and that meant the window could open. Yahay! So, action the forward manouvre again - yow - start the engine, and open the window. All well and good, except there was still no-one around. I tried putting my arm out the window and unlocking the door that way. No go - firmly immobilised (very good if I was a joy-rider, or tea-leaving it, but I wasn't. I just wanted to get out.)

Brainwave number three - Aha! The window was open. I was fairly fit. Go through window? No choice. So, more manouvering. I turned round to the opposite door (ow again!), stuck my hands out and clasped the roof rack and pulled myself out. My neighbour, who's chair always faces the window and who can see the whole street, must have chuckled at the sight of me heaving myself, undignified, out of the car window! :-)

Later, I managed to find a spare fuse for the locking system, and opened the door and got in normally - which really must've made the neighbour question my sanity! Unfortunately, the fuse blew when I shut the door, so history repeated it self once more...

Anyhow, the point of all this rambling is that it was truly a 'bad-hair day', and there was a moment when I thought to myself 'if this is what a BH day is, then I'm better off bald!' :-)

57 Days -boxes and balloons

2006-10-24T01:44:00.000-07:00

Tools to 'Bare it all'!

(please note: the charity can claim back about 25% more through Gift Aid, if you spend just a moment more to fill in details for tax :-) Thanks!)

The parcel I got today wasn't one of my usual purchases on e-bay. It was all the fundraising paraphenalia from Cancer Research UK. Not bad that! From the idea just over a week ago, to be ready to rumble today. Shame they haven't done all the posters up for me - they're blanks, so looks like I'm going to have to put in some time doing some designing...Also, I need to make up the boxes (cardboard ones) and see if they've got something a bit more solid to put in shops (If I'm going to do this, I may as well go 'whole hog' and get my face plastered anywhere that'll take it!
I hadn't thought how many little things need doing!

Even more exciting - a reporter from The Kent and Sussex Courier has been in touch, and wants to run the story in this week's paper! Excellent! (God, I'm nervous...)

Thanks to Atul for boosting up the total so far! That makes £147.56 (with reclaimed tax) - and yes, you look lovely bald! :-D

Now, should I plait up my hair today ?- last chance before it goes!

Putting the Kettle On

2006-10-23T06:18:00.000-07:00

Another big thank you! This time to Felicity Goodson, who put on a one woman enviromental comedy show at the local primary school in Aid of The Hospice in The Weald & St Wilfreds Hospice, Eastbourne. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend, but understand it was a sell-out & great success!
And, as ever, thanks to the organiser, Maryan Warlow, who made this success possible!

58 days -Great! 1/10th way there already!

2006-10-23T05:06:00.000-07:00

A special thanks to Laura, Haydn & Blacker, who have so kindly contributed on 'Just Giving' to my balding (I'll get you back later! :-)) - They just doubled the sponsors!!!
If people are so generous, I'm sure I will reach the target :-)

And, just as exciting - the thermometer on the donation site shows things are hotting up!

Still got a long way to go though, so please take a ride on the link in the sidebar, and make your contribution to Cancer Research UK today! [Just a reminder - I'm not baring my head for less than one thousand pounds!!! :-D]

59 going on 58 days - "Ugly!"

2006-10-22T19:08:00.000-07:00

On a journey to London this morning, I caught a glimpse of myself in the driving mirror, and (again!) tried to imagine a hairless scalp. I said this to my two youngest, who were busy reading and talking. The conversation that followed was not meant to be offensive - it's a conversation with children, who don't always understand (though, when you think they won't, that's when they do - better than you want them to! :-))

"I'm going to look very different without hair. I just can't imagine it." (...imagining it only too well!)

"Oh, I can. You'll look wierd" laughed my generous daughter.

"I can imagine it mum! You'll be ugly!" said my understanding son.

They both thought it a great laugh.

They know why I'm doing it, and I thought they would get the ideas behind it. But, I must say, there was a distinct lack of empathy (and of civility! ) filling the car at that moment. And I didn't very much feel like going through all the explanations again (that people going through chemo don't have the choice; my efforts at fundraising using a symbolic gesture of both the positive and negative aspects of the treatment...) At that point, it seemed to me I might as well have been doing a Simpsons' "Blah blah blah!"

...and actually, it also upset me a little that they might think I'll be ugly to them (I don't mind them thinking me wierd - that comes with the territory! :-D ). I guess some of these thoughts might go through the mind of someone about to lose their hair...

"Will I look ugly? - Will my partner think I'm ugly? - Will people stop and stare at me in the street? - They'll (think) know I've got Cancer, and I don't want everyone knowing everything that goes on in my life - I'll have to cover my head, so they don't stare - I'll stand out - I'll look like a man! - Better wear more feminine clothes to counteract that... - All the lumps on my head will show - And it's going to be white, because the sun never touches it! - Why me?"

And, of course, cancer isn't limited to women, and (apart from the wearing of feminine clothes bit) the thoughts are just as likely to cross the mind of a man. The loss of hair is just as important an apparent 'loss of personality'. Many men have to face it anyhow (we can all think of at least one guy with 'premature hair loss'! ) and equally don't get the choice of whether to keep it or not. But, I suppose the difference is that, with chemotherapy, there's no gradual getting used to it. It's all, then it's nothing.

My friend's hair is still there at the moment. And, maybe it won't fall out. But, in a way, the hair loss is a sign the chemo injections are targeting the cells, and it's working. So, there's a bit of a dichotomy on whether you want it to fall out. Either way it can be positive:
hair=keep image
no hair = proof chemo working

60 days- Bugger!

2006-10-21T01:57:00.000-07:00

(left- with my brother about 20 years ago)

Bugger & Blast!! (ok, I'm not big on swearing, but a few stronger words pop to mind! :-))
Turns out that, when people tried to get on here (with the intentions of going on to donate) the pages wouldn't work! :-( So, I wonder how many clicked in the email, failed to get the page, deleted email....) and I've gone and removed all those addresses from my address book now, as I realised that I didn't even know who half of them were! Oh well, I'll have to try something else.

Ever stood in front of the mirror and experimented with different styles? Well, I stood in front of the mirror, holding my hair tightly to my head, trying to imagine not having any hair at all... not a pretty sight!!! And, whilst I was doing that, I realised I've only got 2 months to put my hair up into any style I want it - after that... nothing!! I haven't even had my hair short (without plaits sticking out in various places, that is) since I was 18 - and I have to admit, I didn't even like it back then! Also, for the last few years, I've been alternating my hair down with plaiting it up into hundreds of little plaits. It's become part of who I am/ project myself as.

What am I doing ?!!!

So, I tried to think of the advantages:

It will take only seconds to wash and dry my hair in the morning!
I won't have to worry what style to put it in when I go out - no 'Up or down?'
I can wear hats - I love hats!
I won't have to worry about catching creepy crawlies (lice) and, even better, won't have to do the bug-busting!!! (Yahay! That's a definate plus! - you have no idea how long it takes to get one of those narrow-toothed, little combs through two-foot-long tangly hair!!!)
Won't have to spend ages brushing coconot oil through to the ends to condition it
I can get rid of all the bleached, dyed and re-dyed bits (at least the last foot and a half :-D) and start afresh
I can re-think my image - 'Do I really want long hair?'

Well, that's some good points to go on with... Hasn't quite stopped the nagging feeling that I'm going to do something really stupid, and that I'll really, really miss my hair! But, reminding myself of the point of all this - People going through Chemo usually don't have the choice, and also I hope to raise enough funds to make a contribution to the prevention or cure of such a ubiquitious illness in years to come!!! So, it is worth it!

Big thanks to my lovely sister, Helen, for also putting faith in me with a donation! She supports me in everything I do (the sort of sister you can rely on! :-)) - cheers!

Word of Mouth

2006-10-20T11:21:00.000-07:00

Not having a clue about fund-raising, I listened to the advice of a friend, who suggested starting by sending everyone in my mailbox a message to tell them what I'm doing. Ok, it wasn't a long, in-depth kinda mailing, but it stated the bald-fact info (and if you're reading this because you got a copy of the email - thanks for taking the time to come and look! And thanks to the person who passed it on! :-))

Ok, I would be quite impressed that the hits for the site doubled in an hour, but when there's only 12 to start with, the clouds are not exactly going to open, and through a dazzle of light a voice boom, "Rest now - you have done well!" More likely to thunder "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase" (God just happens to be a fan of Martin Luther King!) and "Cheer up! The worst is yet to come!" (He's also thinks these words of Philander Chase Johnson's were not only wise, but also universally useful for just about every situation!)

61 Days - Registering the event...

2006-10-20T04:52:00.000-07:00

Sent off my registration form to Cancer Research UK to make it official!

62 Days - Gelling up and ready to wobble!

2006-10-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

I was thinking (oops, probably shouldn't do that! :-)) that maybe putting a couple of photos from the past might be a good idea - you will see, from some of my hairstyles, the great importance my hair is in how I present myself! (and so, what the shave, and losing my hair, will mean to me...) This one's from back in 1990, with two of my children.

So, last night I made another move, which made the head-shave even more certain than before (although, once I'd told people about it, I started to feel committed already): I e-mailed the local paper with details. All day I've been checking my mailbox to see if I had an automatic acknowledgement - uh uh! Not a thing! Hopefully they will reply once they get a chance to check out the links I gave them! :-)

Apart from this, the idea of doing The Deed in front of the school moved one step closer too. Traditionally, there's a theatrical show in the hall on the last day of school. It's a very popular event, since the 6th formers get to take the mickey out of the teachers (they wait their whole school life for this opportunity!) and the performances are relished by the rest of school, who can't wait their turn :-D

One bright spark in the staff room (where all the most creative sparks come from) suggested I could take the opportunity to do the Shave while I have the captive audience (it'd save us getting them all together more than once, which is hazardous at best!). Besides which, after cracking up over teacher caricatures, and watching teachers make a fool of themselves, they will be in the right frame of mind to watch someone else (me! :-S ) do something very silly (and, for some, possibly a little shocking - I've had a couple of people say to me already that there's no way they could watch me cutting off my 'beautiful hair'! :-) Well, they don't have to actually watch... as long as they consider making a contribution!!! :-)

I'm still getting jelly-wobbles in my tummy. I just can't imagine what it will be like to have no hair! I keep imagining me dressed up for Christmas in some classy outfit (as if! :-)) and topped with my knobbly head showing through a morning shadow... As Lynne said, when she made a donation today, I'll have to "Get a hat!" (and maybe some colourful scarves, or even a wig! (I've always wanted to dye my hair blue, and the colour's never taken, so maybe here's my opportunity to wear a royal blue wig! :-D

Thank you to my first two sponsors (especially to Lynne who, when I was in the staffroom saying 'it won't really feel like it's happening until I get more sponsors' immediately dug into her purse and handed me a fiver to put on!)- it's greatly appreciated! The trouble, when you're the first to contribute, is that you don't know how much (whatever you can afford!) and you kind of want to be sure that the event you're sponsoring is actually going to happen, especially if you are making a donation (though, even if it didn't happen, the charity would be still happy to accept the donation - every little helps...)

In my case, as I said, the moment I started talking to people about it, and working out details, I just knew I was going to go through with the idea (oh, I guess I should put a proviso on that) - AS LONG AS DONATIONS TO CANCER RESEARCH UK REACH £1000!!! I really wouldn't want to lose my hair for less! So, guess I got my work cut out for me to reach, and hopefully surpass, my target!!!
(Link is under my profile, just in case you want to add a donation! :-D )

By the way, I spent a long time writing this page and loading the picture, only to be thwarted by the higher powers that be - a particularly strong thunderbolt nearby blew all the power... just when I'd finished writing, and (of course!) before I'd saved... Getting it put on again has taken probably twice as long!!! :-S

So, what have I got to lose...?

2006-10-18T06:30:00.000-07:00

A Heck of a lot, actually! :-D

63 days -Eeugh! Nightmare!

2006-10-18T02:55:00.000-07:00

Bad night's sleep... Had a nightmare that I was in a prisoner of war camp, and I queued up to sit in the barber's chair, waiting my turn. The line shuffled along, and my turn came. My shoulders were grabbed from behind and I was forced down into the chair, and held whilst my hair was all shaved off with clippers (like a sheep being sheared...). When I woke (a couple of times), my hand went automatically to my head, and I sighed with relief it was just a dream... and then I remembered!!!!
Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

A place to donate to Cancer Research UK online!

2006-10-17T17:59:00.000-07:00

Yahay! It was easier than I thought to set up a way to donate to a charity online - There's a special website, called "Just Giving", which is already there to make it easy to donate for a particular event! So, I've got a donation page, and there's no excuses not to get the plastic out of your wallet or purse... The address is http://www.justgiving.com/baringitall

But to make it really easy, there's a link in the sidebar! :-D

I've also set a target of £1000!! Whether this is too little or too much remains to be seen, but it's an aim to start with, isn't it! And I'm not losing my hair for less than £1000!!!

Ooops! Gone and done it now: -64 days and counting...

2006-10-17T07:23:00.000-07:00

Today, at work, I mentioned my idea (ie of shaving my head for charity) to a few people...

It started small, with "I've been thinking about shaving my head. What do you think?" (the words slipped out unintentionally, whilst my mind was occupied by the very serious business of eating my chicken tikka samosa.)
"Oh no! You can't do that - you've got such beautiul, long hair!"
"I was thinking of doing it for cancer research", I said, and the immediate response was"In that case, I would love to sponsor you!"

After a few people had said this, I begun to wonder seriously if I might actually go through with it. Although I didn't think she would object, I decided to suss out what our Headteacher thought of the idea (before throwing myself head-first under the razor!) Some people might not be appreciative of such an event being part of their organisation, especially with all the hype in the media about what employees should and shouldn't, could and couldn't wear. I figured that voluntary baldness might be a reason to object (I haven't dyed my hair green for the last couple of years for such a consideration). Not that it would have stopped me, but I would have focused elsewhere to publicise. I suppose I might also have been hoping she would object, and then I could have used it as a darned good hurdle for not doing it... As if!! Of course she didn't object - she was great! Very supportive. And, as she said, almost everyone knows someone who has been affected by cancer, whether directly or indirectly. (Damn! No excuse to not do it there...)

I also half-hoped that enough people would say, "Oh no, don't do that!!" for me to legitamately think I'd be totally mad to go ahead. Unfortunately, there wasn't any excuse not to do it from this angle either... Once they heard why I wanted to do it, they thought it a great idea.

I begun to realise that people were taking me seriously... even though I was making a joke of it, and even though I wasn't taking myself completely seriously - There was an anticipatory air round the place. Everyone I spoke to mentioned a name or two of someone they knew who'd had this cancer or that, and how the hair loss caused by chemotherapy caused this or that person to feel bad about themselves. It also upset people that they felt helpless in dealing with their friend/relative's feelings of inadequacy- However much you reassure them, they still feel that somehow they are 'failing' if they aren't getting better and that, if they get to the point of having further therapy they must have done something wrong. Or at least not done everything they could have done :-(

People I spoke to felt strongly that shaving my head would indeed draw attention to how important the loss of hair is to a person who is already feeling low with the cancer, and the tiredness of the therapy; and it would also be an appropriate way to raise the profile of cancer research generally, and to keep hope of future cures for presently untreatable aspects of the illness. At the same time, I wanted to point out that the hair loss signified a more positive aspect of the treatment, ie that the fast-renewing cells were being effectively targetted. In other words, the injections were doing what they were meant to do.

The man I spoke to from Cancer Research UK was really helpful and had a good laugh at how a moment of contemplation had develped into full-blown madness. He told me that a fundraising pack would be in the post today, and when I had sent back the registration form with details of what I intended to do (and by repeating my intention to him, there was an nagging feeling I had now passed the no-return point in my commitment), and then the organisation would help out in any way they could (posters /balloons /t-shirts etc for The Event. In the meantime I could ring if I had any queries.

Coming towards the end of the day, I approached a colleague, and said, " Oh my God, what have I done?" The date had somehow been set as the last day of term (everyone would be in a light mood, and I would be able to slope off afterwards if I wanted to :-)) We were discussing it as we entered the staff room... and staffrooms have many ears. Soon a declaration of intention had been (by my split personality?) made, and just everyone had some ideas of how to make it a really good event:

"Do it up on stage in front of the school - there'll be more enthusiasm if they get to see the event!"
"Get the kids to do various fund-raising activities to make them feel more directly involved"
"...maybe they could make a donation to be allowed to wear a pink accessory that day?"
"How about getting the drama teacher to do the shaving? - she'd add a theatrical touch for an exciting climax!"
"And, if you've got it plaited up (a common style for me) then you could raise more by letting the kids pay extra to chop off a plait each... for a price :-)"
"You've got to have some kind of count-down board!"
"Who's got a video to record it?" (isn't it enough to live through it once?!!!)
"The local paper would cover it, I'm sure!"

Oh, the enthusiasm! The creativity! The fait accompli...

A blog dedicated for bald-headed fundraising!

2006-10-17T04:15:00.000-07:00

Entry from my sister site 'Words that Flow', yesterday. Transferred here today, to allow dedication to the cause:

I've been having a big think about something my friend, Zena, said when I visited at the weekend. She was really pleased her hair hadn't started falling out, yet, after her 2nd chemo. Apparently it's more likely after the 3rd. One of her sisters was there too, and she'd brought round a nifty hat for when it happens. Anyway, what I was thinking about was what it must be like to lose your hair. Although hair is just hair, people fashion it, like clothes, to project their identity. What happens, when you are feeling the lowest of the low, knocked out by chemicals zooming round your body, targeting 'hotspots' of new growth (including hair and nails)?

Jeez! I've had my hair in every outgoing style - dyed it red, orange, yellow, green (never managed blue, since it doesn't seem to 'take' in my hair). I've had hair standing straight up; backcombed in the 80's; permed into zig-zags; plaited down my back (currently my alternative style); and down when it behaves itself- it has a lovely wave just after it's been washed (the envy of a fair few people, I've been told :-)).

Well, thinking along these lines, I realised how much of my identity is tied up in my hair. Cancer happens to many people, unfortunately, and affects them profoundly simply by being there. How much worse, I thought, to then lose your hair when you are feeling at your worst!
Now, to the point - I've been thinking for a while what I can do to raise money for cancer research. I've known so many people affected by it's impact on their lives, or those of a loved one. I would like to do something that means something to me, in how it reflects the illness. I'm considering the London 'Moon Walk' (Saturday19th May 2007 - registrations in by 23rd December 2006, or sooner if the places get filled! See link in sidebar under Randolf the monkey! ), but I'd like to do something more personal to me. It occurred to me that one thing I could do, which would put me closer to the position of understanding how it felt to lose your identity when going through chemo, and also to symbolise that temporary loss of hair whilst using the treatment (as a hopefully positive step towards healing).... would be (dare I say it in words and commit myself?) to shave my head of all my gorgeous tresses!!!

Now, I value my hair, and I really (really!) wish I hadn't thought of this as a fund-raising effort, but now I have, I find that it is an appropriate thing to do. I surely am not the first to think of this, and definately won't be the last, but I have such a lot of hair to lose!!! At present, it's nearing waist length. And to be honest, I don't know how I'd feel if it wasn't there. However, the seed of idea has been planted...

Now, my problems are

I need to reach as many people as possible, to raise the profile of this prospective event (I believe I may contact one of the cancer research charities, and see if they can help) - so, some sort of advertising
I would need to make available some method for people to sponsor/ donate directly to the charity, and for some way of that total figure to be recorded
A target figure should be ascertained (how much would it be worth to people to see me go bald? :-D )
hmmm, I'm sure there must be other things I haven't thought of...

I'm hoping someone out there might have some answers or ideas of how I can go about this. Seeing as Zena's going through this struggle, I'd kind of like to keep her company (we could be a couple of baldies together!! :-))

So, if you think of something, drop me a line (you can always get in touch via 'comments'). I'm going to get some photos of what my wonderful head of hair looks like now... I'm hoping there's enough malicious cackling out there to make this worth while...

So, watch this space, and be ready to pass the word on... :-)