52 Days - reaffirmation of reasons...

(First of all - I did do a post on Friday before I left for Norwich, but unfortunately that's obviously got lost in 'The Voidoid' Apologies, as I can't remember what it was even about now :-( )

I've just come back from a 'Cousins' Party' (so dubbed by my Danish relations, for self-obvious reasons). On the first night my intention for the head-shave emerged. From all the voices at the table, one cousin's was louder, and more vehement than the other:

"Why are you doing this? Everyone shaves their head - no-one will give money for that! You would have to be Madonna, or someone famous, for anyone to care!"

(Though he did also said he respected the need for raising funds for research, and wished for treatments that didn't make a person ill...)

I pointed out that it wasn't going to happen for nearly two months and that a lot of people had already pledged their support, but he couldn't understand. His insistence that it was a pointless exercise upset me.

Of course, I could have stayed upset, but my lovely sister talked me through, and gave me confidence again. I told her, "I need to feel like I'm doing something- anything- or else what have I got to hold onto?"

She reminded me of the support I already have, and the lives it's already touching on… "You are doing something - more than most!" (thank you again, my lovely sister :-))

So, anyway, I woke in the middle of the night, unable to sleep (seems to becoming a habit!), and found myself working out the reasons for what I'm doing. Some of them are already on the donation page at 'Just Giving', but to be clear in my own mind...

why?

• Because so many people I've known in my life have been touched by it, and it doesn't appear to be less prevalent (though treatments have improved)
• because there's still a way to go for treatments to be 100% effective (and it's people who have put so much effort into fundraising and research that have got it as far as it is today!)
• because when it does touch peoples lives, there is still a feeling of despair when first diagnosed - it would be wonderful if, when people first hear the words, 'you have cancer' that the immediate reaction is annoyance that it is going to inconvenience them for a while. (Even better would be that no consultant or doctor would ever have to say those words!)
• Because my Childhood friend now has it, and though I'm there for her as much as I can be, I still feel so helpless as she struggles through the harsh treatments, trying to decide whether it's worth continuing when it makes her feel so bad...
• because, while I can't physically do something for my friend (I can't make her better, nor take her pain away), I can at least try to do something towards the ongoing quest for improvement in treatment - for ourselves, and for our children.
• shaving my head to raise funds, whilst not original, is something in my power to do... and it means something to me (both in the physical hair loss, and the idea why the loss of hair is significant -see). If I didn't care about it, then it would be no big deal.
• And it was because cancer touches on so many peoples' lives, that so many people encouraged me to "Go for it!"

It's strange I felt put in the position to justify my actions, but then the person who questioned them admitted he'd never personally been 'touched' by cancer. He also forced me to think about my reasons, so thanks for that, J.!